Do y’all remember tumblr? I ask as though we’re 80 years old…. anyway. I had a secret tumblr in high school. I followed a guy on it whose username I can’t remember. But he would post something every Tuesday. I would refresh and refresh and refresh to see those posts. When he didn’t post I felt so disappointed. In hindsight, I don’t remember what the posts were about. But I remember that they made me feel less alone. I’ve been working towards that less alone feeling for so long. And right now I have it. I’m siting in the feeling of being less alone. I’m sitting in a feeling of gratitude.
There’s still a lot of ups and downs in my life right now. I lot that I can feel overwhelmed by. But I’m sitting in my backyard with my two dogs. My partner helped me clean it so it feels so perfect. There is thunder in the background and the combined clouds and breeze make it almost nice to be outside. Notice that I say almost because according to the weather app it’s still 97 degrees right now.
I saw a post that said something about remember this is what the you five years ago was working towards.
And it was. And I’m so grateful. A house with a yard so that we can have dogs. That was on the top of our one day list when my partner and I started dating. Being fully self employed was on top of my list. And I am. We pay our mortgage and bills entirely with my self employed income. It’s not a lot, but it is enough. And I am grateful.
I hope you find gratitude today too.