Preparing for my egg retrieval with IVF – the pregnancy test after the Ovidrel shot.

 

I just learned part of the IVF protocol as we’re preparing for my egg retrieval with IVF (technically IVM) and it absolutely sucks. 1) I have to stay up til midnight to administer my Ovidrel shot. And that fucking sucks and I don’t like it at all. But the second part is the part that really feels mean. 

12 hours after I administer the ovidrel shot I have to take a pregnancy test. We’re looking for a positive result. 

This could be the only positive pregnancy test I see in this relationship. And it is absolutely not because I’m pregnant. We’re going through the entire process to maybe have a baby in the future, but tomorrow at noon I am not going to be pregnant. The test will be positive and I will not be pregnant. 

What kind of sick twisted joke is that? 

It’s like the two week wait all over again. 

IVF is the hardest emotionally and mentally and physically taxing thing I’ve ever done. And it is constantly harder and harder and harder. Every next step is harder than the previous step. Preparing for my egg retrieval with IVF has been obviously the hardest part because of the medications and the injections. 

And the clinic didn’t even really explain to me why they want the picture of a positive pregnancy test. So I’m doing something that is not fun with no real clear idea why. I’ve spent way too long on the Reddit IVF subpage, and they all think it’s really weird. 

It’s painful and disheartening. It’s a roller coaster of hope and disappointment. 

In less than two days I’ll be doing the egg retrieval – I’m incredibly nervous about it. I know it’s not a “major” procedure. But it’s still surgery. It’s still being put under. It’s still a needle that’s 12-14 inches long. It still goes up through my cervix. It’s still a lot. 

What I can say, is through all of it I’m more grateful for Jeff every single day. Especially in the last few days when I have just been randomly crying for absolutely no reason except for the medication. He’s gotten me everything I needed and held me when I cried or not looked at me when I wanted him not to. He has been steady and soft and strong and kind and absolutely everything I could ever want or need. 

Are you going through your own IVF journey? I want to hear about it! Are you exploring and just looking for other peoples personal experiences? Here are some of my other thoughts and ramblings:

Everyday luxuries are extra important to me because this process is so hard.